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Ideas and Advice for Real Songwriters (formerly songwright.co.uk)

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Second FAWM song

Black water’

First draft lyrics:

Treading water, wound in my side
Overboard in the dark of the night
grinning faces threw me to my doom
and now my arms and legs burn with the strain

Threw me right in, cursing my sins
here alone, I’ll admit that they’re right
All the traces, the things that I’ve done
I thought I’d get away with all that pain

Black water, Floating out on the tide
Salt water, filling me up inside

Once a while ago, thought I might stop
Though I’d sinned there was time to make right
And now pace has, become too much,
as I go under I begin to pray

Black water, Floating out on the tide
Salt water, filling me up inside

But a rescue comes at last
Rough hands pull me out
cold lips on mine
some god took pity on me
some ragged angel came to my side

And if I’ve my time back,
Might I make things right?

But who’s gonna take me in?
If I find a way out of here?

Ideas to steal:

  • Main riff is in 7/8
  • chorus melody is the same little phrase twice with very different chords underneath: Eb Maj 7 F#min7 Bmin Faug.
  • Structure is dictated by the story, so there’ s a big change in pace on the line ‘But a rescue comes at last’

Some more fawmers: Elaine DiMasiMike SkliarPhil NormanPigfarmer Jr

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